She probably thought I was confessing to putting a bomb in my carry-on or something like that. She clearly wasn’t expecting that answer. “(Incredibly sad face) (Heavy breath) B-B-Buttpluuuug (SUPER sad face) (Extra tears)” “I-I-I (Heavy breath) L-L-Left my… (Sob) I PUT IT IN AND… (Heavy breath) F-F-Forgooooot (Sad face)” It went something like this – just imagine me starting every word 3 or 4 times before finishing it, stammering every syllable, and a gasping breath between each word. And through my puffy tear soaked cheeks, with snot dribbling out my nose, through heaped breaths and shaking hands (as you can tell I’m an incredibly attractive cryer) I told her. She asked me, in the complete opposite tone of 10 seconds ago, what was really wrong. The lady instantly softened up, she came over to my side of the table and knelt down. It’s something that is probably a form of defence mechanism, but it’s usually more harm than help. I’m a pussy, whenever I get stressed, I cry. This lady drilled me as to where I was from, where I was going, who I would be staying with, where they were from, my connection to them, if I was stopping over or finishing my journey in Sydney… This went on for what seemed like forever when I started crying. I am not white, so I don’t know if that had anything to do with it, but I found myself in this weird security screening room soon after. Don’t people get nervous going through security anyway? Don’t people that are scared of flying suddenly get hit by a wave of nervousness when they realise they’re going to be on a plane? I mean, there are tonnes of viable reasons why I might have suddenly become distraught. This kinda strikes me as odd, looking back at it. “Miss, I saw you a moment ago and you were completely fine, would you mind coming with me?” I made up some story about feeling really unwell and the security guard that tilted her head – the one that asked if I was okay – clearly didn’t believe me. I can’t remember what I said exactly, but I must’ve looked like complete shit. People were moving closer to the front of the line and a Maori airport officer guy was stacking trays and the girl in front of me moved through the metal detector and everyone was suddenly watching me and the security guard tilted his head slightly and my carry-on was suddenly so heavy and- “Are you okay there miss?” I started looking around and fucking panicked. I started sweating, I swear in my first day here in 34°-celsius-Singapore I haven’t sweat as much as I did just then. I couldn’t just stand right there in the queue and pull out my buttplug, could I? There were no toilets around, so I couldn’t just saunter off to one of those, and it was then I completely zoned. Two meters in front of me was a metal detector. Realisation hit me like an abusive father. Hm, that’s odd, I must’ve accidentally put it in my- oh fuck. Now this in itself was no issue, other than the fact that it was the remote for my buttplug. I searched through all my pockets, eventually coming across a small plastic rectangle. Great, now that’s out of the way, the interesting part.Īs I approached the front of the line to go through security screening, I shoved my hands in my pockets in search of anything metal, like my keys and wallet. Usually when I wake up in the mornings I will have my own private sexy-time, which includes inserting (and usually removing) my expensive fucking buttplug. You may be asking yourself “Why has /u/WILL_SEND_NUDES inserted a butt plug in and so easily forgotten about it? I’m calling bs!” Well, theres a perfectly reasonable answer, my skeptical friend. The best part? It’s battery powered, and vibrates on command of a small remote. It’s made of steel and is incredibly cold if you don’t warm it up before you put it in. This means that I happily made it all the way to Auckland (the international airport) with my buttplug in. In fact, the airport where I live is insanely small, it has one building and no customs (only domestic travel from here, so no reason to). I live in New Zealand, and the town I live in doesn’t have an international airport. I don’t have that much money due to university / housing fees, so when I do travel, it’s a pretty big deal for me! Just to get this out of the way, I am a woman in my early 20s and I don’t travel very often. I’m now happily in Singapore staying with my uncle for 10 days as planned, and this story happened (unlike so many TIFUs) earlier today for me, discounting the changes in timezone. Unless, of course, you have a metal butt plug up your ass like Redditor WILL_SEND_NUDES did. Using bathrooms that smell like a diarrhea apocalypse just hit, you’ll realize the TSA screening isn’t so bad. Eating food that’s been marked up ~5,000%ģ. While that may sound strange, when you realize the only other activities are:Ģ. Going through security is probably my favorite activity to do while at any given airport.
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